


Ocean Eyes, Diamond Mind

by maythecat12 (orphan_account)



Series: Cap-Ironman Bingo 2020 [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Falling In Love, Idiots in Love, Love, M/M, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Nightmares, Obligatory Hospital Scene, Slow Burn, Soulmates, but the universe decided to fuck with them, like the rest of us shmucks, so they had to fall in love normally
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:40:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23810971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/maythecat12
Summary: They say, when soulmates meet, there is a feeling, a deep feeling that overtakes you as the color you’ve been missing your whole life - the color of their eyes - slowly appears, bleeding into existence.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Cap-Ironman Bingo 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1680772
Comments: 9
Kudos: 73
Collections: Captain America/Iron Man Bingo





	Ocean Eyes, Diamond Mind

**Author's Note:**

> Note: The first four thousand or so words describe the first Avengers movie.
> 
> All mistakes are mine.

_Mr. Stark._

_Captain._

\---

They say, when soulmates meet, there is a feeling, a deep feeling that overtakes you as the color you’ve been missing your whole life - the color of their eyes - slowly appears, bleeding into existence.

It’s not uncommon to never meet your soulmate. But it’s devastating, to know that there is or there was or there will be someone out there who is yours but fate takes your paths in opposite directions.

So Tony doesn’t expect anything, after years of not having a soulmate, after dating someone else who didn’t appear to have a soulmate either, until… until Pepper did find a soulmate and Tony was left alone. Again.

He’s practically given up at this point. Fate itself will decide when it stops being a bitch. 

This whole business with SHIELD and Coulson and Fury is going to get him killed. Not that he’d mind that much, but he’d rather… not. 

The whole lot of them so far - minus Agent Barton, who’s been mind controlled, apparently - are together under one quinjet roof.

Which means that Tony’s dangerously close to Steve Rogers. He’s heard the stories - how could he not, living with Howard, who had a serious case of hero-worship for Captain America, who never stopped comparing Tony to Steve Rogers, who cared about some body in the Atlantic more than his own son. 

Tony knows his anger is misdirected. Steve himself hasn’t done anything worthwhile (other than getting his ass kicked) in front Tony.

He’s staring. Steve’s suit is supposedly blue, but Tony’s never been able to see it, the color that’s apparently rainy cold, if the ocean and the skies could be put down as a color on paper. Hauntingly beautiful, cool and soft at the same time. 

Steve catches him looking and he holds Steve’s gaze for a brief moment before casting his glare somewhere else. 

Something’s changed.

Tony can feel it, but he can’t quite wrap his finger around what, specifically.

And then there’s a large thump on the roof.

\---

Steve feels… different? 

There’s no time to contemplate, barely even any time to prepare as someone thunders in and grabs Loki and flies away in moments. 

Stark - Tony - is blasting towards them in a moment and Steve’s left to make conversation with Natasha as he slips on a parachute and jumps.

The wind whistles around him. The whole fight is really a blur - he remembers throwing his shield at Tony and the other guy, telling them to stop, and then Tony, Tony and his smartass mouth, got himself a chestful of hammer and a free flight up a cliff. Steve remembers bracing for impact underneath the shield and the sound of the hammer hitting metal, and then being thrown into the ground, and then a silent truce.

And as he pants, catching his breath, allowing himself one moment of weakness, he sees the splintered trees around them, and they also look… different. 

And that’s when Steve realizes it.

They’re _brown_. It’s beautiful, even the splinters and ruins. 

He’s met his soulmate.

But… but when?

There’s no good, logical explanation. He knows what he’s been missing, or at least, according to Bucky and Peggy - the color brown, if the richness of earth and wood could be captured in a color.

The color’s been gone his entire life, and it definitely hadn’t been around when he’d woken up from the ice. 

He remembers the past, forcing Peggy to stare at him, the disappointment curling in his stomach when nothing happened, and the bittersweet emotion that had coursed through him when Peggy told him she’d found a soulmate. 

They’ve gathered in the helicarrier. Dr. Banner’s joined them, and they’re discussing what Loki wants. Speaking of the devil, he’s locked in the glass cage.

Steve can’t help but notice that Bruce has brown eyes, along with Agent Hill and Nick Fury. And then Tony walks in, launching another bomb into the mix.

Tony also has brown eyes.

But… Tony’s dating someone, right?

(At least, that’s what the papers said.)

Tony and Bruce get along immediately, trading science-related comments that Steve understands just enough to be frustrated that he can’t understand more. He also mentions some game called “Galaga” that Steve’s never heard of.

Other than understanding the “monkeys” reference, Steve does get in a sentence or two about the similarities of the scepter and the HYDRA weapons he’s seen. 

He hates this - hates the soulmates thing, hates the tesseract, hates the future, hates himself, hates the way he hates things.

Everything feels so… wrong.

Except for his soulmate.

If his soulmate is really in the future, then… then what?

He sees Tony shoot him a weird look before he leaves with Bruce.

\---

Bruce and Tony are discussing things when Fury barges in on them and demands an explanation. So he _has_ found the decryptor.

He plays it cool - after putting on a public image for long enough, acting is like second nature. 

But then Steve walks in.

He doesn’t want an audience for his humiliation - especially not Steve. Steve, who has blue eyes - the eye color of his missing soulmate. Steve, who is perfect in every way Tony isn’t. Steve, who Howard loved more than his own son.

And he declares that SHIELD’s using the tesseract to build nuclear weapons. Tony’s anger skyrockets because Fury is _building weapons of mass destruction_ \- these things could destroy cities and probably entire countries. Fury immediately tries to appease Steve when Tony brings up the diagram for some sort of missile and Steve launches into his, “I was wrong,” spiel. 

And just when the room can’t get any more crowded, Nat and Thor walk in, the former sporting a look sharp enough to cut steel and warns Bruce about Loki manipulating him - so _that’s_ what she’s been doing. Bruce retaliates and finally asks the question.

“I’d like to know why SHIELD is using the tesseract to build weapons of mass destruction!”

And Fury points at Thor, explaining that, _“we are not alone,”_ and, _“we are hopelessly, hilariously outgunned,”_ and Thor tries to defend but Fury plows on, something about control, and Steve barges in, and then they’re both yelling at Fury, and then the conversation turns onto him. Fury has to pull the “former weapons dealer” card and then Steve has to call him self-centered and then they’re all at each other’s throats, the six of them trading literary blows and some part of Tony knows that this isn’t right, that something’s wrong, but it’s small and inferior to the rest of him that wants to sock everyone right now, to yell at them until they’re reduced to tears.

“Big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?” the loathing in Steve’s voice is palpable.

“Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist,” he answers, and he turns his head to meet Steve’s eyes. They’re an ocean blue, cold and sort of distant, crystal and light, with a little bit of green thrown into the mix. They’re beautiful, more beautiful than any of the blue that Tony’s seen so far.

Steve’s eyes bore into him and he goes, “I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I’ve seen the footage. The only thing you fight for is yourself. 

But Tony’s distracted slightly. A feeling he can’t quite place bubbles up in his stomach, and he can tell that Steve’s distracted too because his face falls for a split second. The feeling washes over him, and he lets the _good_ overwhelm him for a second, but then another wave of anger boils over and Steve speaks again and all Tony can think about is that he _hates_ Steve, really really hates him.

“You’re not the guy to make the sacrifice play. To lay down on the wire and let the other guy crawl over you,” Steve accuses, the words shooting out of his mouth and embedding themselves into Tony like shrapnel, because it _hurts_. 

“I think I would just cut the wire,” Tony retorts, mouth opening and spitting out the first thing that comes to mind. 

“Always a way out. You know, you may not be a threat but you better stop pretending to be a hero.” 

“A hero?” Tony snaps, because that’s too far, because he’s saved lives, because he’s done a ton of shit he never wanted to do for the greater good, “like you? You’re a laboratory experiment, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle.” He’s dangerously close to Steve, whose cold blue eyes are mere inches from his face, whose expression is one of fury and rage and maybe even a little hurt. And Tony comprehends what he’s just said and is immediately sorry but the rage boils up again and he can’t stand down.

“Put on the suit,” Steve hisses, and yeah, Tony wants to. He can take Captain America any day - he’s better than him, maybe one day Howard will finally realize, and he can beat the shit out of his dad’s prized guinea pig right in front of him. “Let’s go a few rounds.”

They’re interrupted by Thor’s laughter and Tony doesn’t have time to rewind the past couple minutes and figure out what the hell he just said because Fury’s now ordering Romanoff to escort Bruce away and-

Bruce drops the bomb. Not literally, of course, just enough to stun everyone into silence. He’s tried to end his own life. Some cruel part of Tony wants to say something akin to. “Welcome to the club,” but he knows it’s insensitive and rude and it’ll just earn him another glare from probably anyone in the room. But Bruce is also edging closer to the scepter and then he’s holding it and Tony can hear the sound of the safety on someone’s gun being clicked off and he’s rambling on and on.

The locator beeps. Bruce looks so confused and disorientated but he drops the staff and checks it out anyways, and Thor asks about the tesseract. Tony suggests going alone - he’s the fastest aerial transportation, really, and then Thor argues that a human being can’t handle it (like that’s going to stop him.) Tony moves anyway and then Steve grabs him and says that he can’t go alone (how sweet) and then they’re face to face again, arguing, and Steve’s telling him to put on the suit again so they can beat each other up, and Tony will, he will fucking punch Steve, hit him, _hurt_ him to make up for all the hurt he’s ever caused Tony and-

Then the fucking helicarrier explodes.

\---

The explosion sends them flying in opposite directions, but Steve ends up next to Tony. Through the cloud of smoke and fire, he can’t see the rest of them, but, taking in the sound of breaking glass, he’s sure they’ve found other ways out.

“Put on the suit,” he says, and this time, it’s protectiveness and desperation in his voice. He can’t lose his soulmate. Even though he wishes it was anyone else, he can’t lose this chance again. 

His hands brush Tony’s hips as they move, trying to bring him to safety, and they keep running, down the long hallways of the helicarrier. Steve’s told to go to engine three, to meet Tony. Steve sprints towards it as fast as he can, pushing open doors and making his way to the damaged area. He yells for Stark, and then the red and gold suit whizzes by and begins to do his tech thing, shouting at Steve to get to the command center. Steve slings his way over, launching himself there and pulling the controls out, following Stark’s instructions on what to do.

And then Stark tells him the next step, instructing him to stand by the red lever. Steve’s got this - he has to. For Stark’s sake. But then someone - multiple someones - show up, and Steve’s fighting now, desperately trying to stay on board the ship, batting grenades and slamming bodies and firing guns and he’s playing hide-and-shoot with the enemy when something happens and he slips and all of a sudden he’s dangling by a thread, grip crushing around the wire that’s keeping him from falling out of the sky. Tony’s voice comes in through his earpiece and he’s trying to climb back up and the bullets whiz past him into the open sky. He hears Stark cursing and the sound of banging metal and he reaches for the lever and tugs it down, and the shooting starts again but the guy gets a chestful of Iron Man, and Steve’s safe. For now.

And then the news hits, dropping like a bomb, detonating and shattering the hearts of everyone. Fury’s upset. Hill’s been crying, silently, tears falling down her cheeks in a stream. Everything’s quiet - even Tony. Steve stands still for a second, unable to comprehend the story.

Coulson is dead.

The silence stretches on, the grief raw and painful, like having your heart shatter over and over again as you desperately try to piece it back together but all it does is break more, into tinier and tinier shards and it’s falling apart the more you try to fix it. 

Coulson was supposed to be safe - he wasn’t an Avenger, wasn’t Fury. And now he’s dead, his blood staining the ground.

It’s not fair. 

Steve and Stark are seated in front of Fury, avoiding each other’s gazes out of grief and shame. Stark looks at Steve weirdly before casting his glance somewhere else. And then Fury begins to speak. Begins to speak about his ideas, his hopes for a team - the Avengers. 

_The idea was to bring together a group of remarkable people to see if they could become something more, to work together and fight the battles that we never could._

_Phil Coulson died still believing in that idea._

The cards fly through the air and land on the table, blood spilling onto the table, the cheesy cartoons of Captain America stained red. Steve almost recoils as his trembling fingers pick up a card. He can’t handle the sight, the proof of his failure. But he steels himself and looks back at Fury.

_In heroes._

_“Suit up.”_

In the brief moments before they do anything big, Stark stops him. 

“Rogers,” his voice trembles slightly. Steve’s brows furrow in concern but Tony just looks at him, in the eye, only really confirming what Steve knows. They’re soulmates.

It’s strange. He feels no love for this man, barely even any admiration or liking. Tony Stark could just be any stranger on the street. 

But at the same time, some part of his mind he doesn’t quite comprehend wants him to take Tony into his arms and stop him from crying, to protect him from the world.

“Later,” he promises, before getting ready to depart.

\---

Tony soars into New York, repulsors blazing, soaring through the open blue sky towards Stark Tower, where he sees Selvig with his tesseract portal. 

Anger swells in his stomach. This is _his_ tower and Loki can go fuck off. He lands softly, and there’s someone waiting for him. Loki watches him intently, as he removes the armor and meets him inside, strutting towards Tony.

Tony walks towards the bar - towards the cuffs - and lets Loki talk. Whatever. If he can get a glimpse of his plans and buy some time, even better. He pours himself a drink, the dark amber liquid pouring into the cup, and begins to stall. His mind defaults to talking about the Avengers and, generally, insulting Loki, and he slips the cool metal bracelets onto his wrists and takes a sip of the drink. 

Loki’s delusional. There’s no throne. He’s got an army, sure, but Earth has the Avengers. Here to avenge. 

Loki walks towards him calmly, threats spewing out of his mouth every other word, and he’s mentioning something about fighting friends when he raises the staff and directs it at Tony’s heart. Tony tenses - the arc reactor’s there - but the metal tip just clangs against the reactor, blue energy swirling back towards the staff, repelled away from Tony. Loki’s initial look of triumph is replaced by confusion and Tony smirks. He’s taunting Loki now. 

And then he’s cut off mid-sentence when a hand wraps around his throat and Loki throws him into the ground. The impact hurts but he pushes himself up anyway, readying himself for what’s next, and then the pressure on his neck is back, stopping air from reaching his lungs, and he manages to scream deploy through Loki’s verbal assault before he’s hurtling out the window, tumbling through empty air with shards of glass. 

He hears the sound of the armor behind him and his bracelet beeps, the metal suit whirring and clicking and enveloping his body. The faceplate snaps shut, and he’s shooting upwards and flying back to Loki, who’s staring at him in contempt. He raises the staff but Tony fires first and Loki collapses to the ground.

A beam of bright blue energy rips a hole in the sky.

\---

The flight to New York ends in chaos. (Of course it does. What had Steve expected?) 

People are screaming, explosions rocking the city, and a swarm of some alien creature pouring from the portal. Nat says something to Tony and they zoom through the narrow space between buildings, guns blazing, shooting at the Chitauri.

Clint spots Thor is fighting Loki on the tower, hammer meeting staff. Loki throws Thor down and aims his staff at the quinjet. They don’t react fast enough and a beam tears a hole in the wing and they’re falling, plummeting downwards. The quinjet swings wildly and Steve latches onto something on the ceiling, clinging to it to avoid being thrown around. He can hear the sound of breaking buildings as they fall and then the impact when they hit the ground, skidding to a stop amid the rubble.

The moment the ramp is lowered, Steve’s sprinting out, followed by Nat and Clint, mind racing as he tries for ideas to get back to Loki. They’re racing down the street when something stops them. The bellow of a creature rips through the screams, loud and clear, and they stare at the portal in shock as a massive, snakelike creature makes its way into the sky - into New York.

It’s terrifying. 

The three of them watch in shock as it glides past them, up through the air, fins scraping chunks of building off as it passes. Nat and Clint run for cover as beams are fired at them and Steve follows after, watching as the aliens pass overhead.

They head for the civilians. Beams are fired and explosions follow, the sounds of screaming overwhelming. Rows of neatly parked cars overturn and explode, going up in flames. People run from the smoke billowing from the wreckage. The three of them try to take the aliens down - Nat with her dual pistols, Clint with his arrows and uncanny ability to never miss, and Steve with his shield.

\---

Tony’s fighting one of the large worm things when Steve radios in to tell him that Bruce is here. He zooms around a building and sees the five of them assembled, Nat giving him a look, and then Bruce is big and green and slamming his fist into the Chitauri.

The six of them stand in a sort of formation, everyone preparing for the battle to follow - the Hulk roars back at the aliens ready to pounce, Clint loosens an arrow from his quiver and nocks it, Thor adjusts his grip on his hammer, gritting his teeth while surveying the scene, Nat reloads her gun, eyes taking in every detail, Steve switches the shield from one arm to the other with a determined look on his face, gaze not moving from the aliens, and Tony lands next to him as the sound of screaming fills the streets.

It’s surprising how well the six of them work together - they move like a well-oiled machine, working together and following orders to protect New York. Which is surprising, considering most of them are used to fighting alone and fending for themselves. He watches Thor and the Hulk take down another one of the Chitauri and it crashes into a nearby building. 

He’s being beat over the head with something metal when Fury radios in. A missile is headed for the city. Hazily, he fires his way out of the fray and into the air. Time to end this thing. Tony hears them debating on closing the portal, but he objects. This missile has to go somewhere, and it’s not gonna be New York. He latches onto the nuke and begins to redirect it, using the full power of his thrusters to change directions.

“Stark, you know that’s a one way trip.”

\---

Steve’s mind is reeling. He can’t let Tony do this. He sees the suit fly by and watches in horror as Stark - no, Tony - shoots upwards, carrying the explosive on his back. The figure grows smaller and smaller, just a tiny dot flying by, and then it’s gone.

Steve has to swallow a sob. It’s strange, sure, he’s attached, but this is his _soulmate._ Who he’s just lost. Worry and guilt flood his stomach and he blinks away tears. 

The aliens around him and Thor collapse onto themselves and one of the big ones goes down on a nearby building, crushing the top. He can see the explosion in the other dimension through the hole in the sky - but there’s no sign of Tony. He knows what he has to do.

_“Close it.”_

The beam of blue energy stops and the gap in the sky begins to mend, reverting to just another sunny day in New York. Steve feels gutted. _It’s what it’s like,_ he supposes, _to lose a soulmate._ The portal closes rapidly, and there’s no sign of anything but he can’t help but _hope,_ hope desperately that Tony will make it out alive. 

And then the armor tumbles back down. But Thor’s warning almost sends Steve into another panicked frenzy. He’s right. Tony isn’t slowing down. 

The Hulk leaps into the air and catches him, sliding down a building, and leaping down to join Thor and Steve, Iron Man cradled in his arms. Thor turns him over and rips off the faceplate as Steve tries to detect breathing.

The arc reactor. It’s dark.

Tony’s so utterly still. _He can’t be dead. Please. Don’t let him be dead._

Steve sighs and looks away. He can’t stand the thought of having a dead soulmate - one you finally got but was torn away yet again. The Hulk roars and then Tony’s gasping in surprise, chest heaving with breaths. 

_He’s alive._

“Please tell me nobody kissed me,” Tony jokes, and all of a sudden, Steve sort of _wants_ to. He settles for a simple, “We won,” and Tony relaxes, closing his eyes in relief. When Tony starts rambling about something called “shawarma”, Steve can’t help but burst out in a wide grin and stare at Tony fondly. 

But of course, Loki, the scoundrel, is still here.

\---

They take care of Loki no problem. Without an army, with all six Avengers around him, and bonus points to Hawkeye for pointing an arrow in his face, he gives in. 

The shawarma is delicious. Almost worth dying for. _Almost._ It’s a pure moment - a moment domesticity, almost, for the six of them.

They’re all there when Thor and Loki disappear in a bright burst of light, going wherever to face whatever judgement. When Steve approaches them, Tony promises he’ll reach out. They’re soulmates. They’re in this together. Steve surprises him with a quick hug before riding off on his own motorcycle.

This isn’t a goodbye - it’s more of a pause. Tony’s got plans for the tower. It’s no longer Stark Tower. It’s Avengers Tower.

He and Pepper are still working on the designs, finalizing things, getting ready for the renovation. Each Avenger is going to get their own floor - Nat, Steve, and Clint will have a personal gym, Bruce will have a lab, and Thor will have an empty room, for now. Tony himself will stay in the penthouse.

So, yes, a pause. 

They’ll get back together. 

\---

It’s the middle of the night when Tony calls. The sky is a dark, inky black, the moonlight barely penetrating the clouds. Steve’s not exactly asleep when the trilling of the phone alerts him to an incoming call. His fingers slide across the screen of his phone as he answers it.

“Tony?” he asks, placing the phone against his ear. 

“Tony? Who’s that?” Tony quips, “what?”

“You called me,” Steve refutes, grinning despite himself.

“I was wondering if we could… talk. You know, about the whole soulmate thing?”

“Shouldn’t we do that in person?” Steve suggests.

“I-” Tony falters, “I’m standing outside your apartment door.”

“What?” In a flash, Steve’s tugging on a pair of pants and opening the door. The sight of Tony, in the flesh, greets him. Before he can stop himself, he throws his arms around Tony and envelops him in a hug.

What’s surprising is that Tony returns the hug - he wraps his arms around Steve’s waist while resting his head gently on Steve’s chest. His hair brushes the bottom of Steve’s chin. Steve reaches up and gently brushes a hand through it. It’s soft and fluffy.

They stand that way for a moment, engrossed in each other, before they break the hug and Steve leads Tony in. He shuts the door quietly behind them and turns to look at Tony, who is standing almost uncomfortably next to the couch. He glances at Steve before sitting down, folding his hands on his lap.

“So… soulmates,” Steve prompts, sitting next to Tony. 

“Ah. Yes.” Tony stares at him, “I- I don’t know how to do this… Gosh, I used to hate you, but I also sort of idolized you, and this whole soulmate thing - it’s like ten teenage Tony fantasies rolled into one.”

“Teenage Tony fantasies…” Steve trails off and- oh. He feels the heat in his cheeks but when he glances at Tony, his gaze his kind with a bit of amusement. He holds his gaze - for maybe a little too long - and drops it awkwardly. 

“I think we should try,” Tony says evenly, “try to be, you know, soulmates. Especially because you seem emotionally invested in me already,” Tony teases.

“Try,” Steve echoes. “I don’t want to lose you, Tony,” he adds with conviction, his voice firm, but there’s a hint of pleading.

“You won’t,” Tony promises. “Uh, on a side note, do you want to move into the tower? I’m probably going to invite the whole team so we can do drills and stuff. Also so it’s easier to assemble.”

“Sure,” Steve agrees. He’s glad to have another family after he’s lost his so many times. Without even really meaning to, he laces his hand with Tony’s. Tony looks up at him in what seems to be surprise, but he squeezes Steve’s hand reassuringly. 

They sit there in comfortable silence, not really doing anything, the atmosphere utterly relaxed. 

“When are you moving in?” Tony finally asks.

“When do you want me to?” Steve replies. “I don’t know.”

Tony raises an eyebrow playfully. “What if I said tomorrow?”

“Then I’d move in tomorrow. I don’t really have anything, and this apartment is owned by SHIELD.”

“My, my Cap,” Tony teases, “a bit eager, are we?” He shifts closer to Steve, tilting his head sideways. He’s suddenly much closer than he was before. Steve’s breath catches as he looks at Tony - he’s beautiful. His eyes flick downwards to Tony’s lips, and he’s caught with a sudden desire to just lean forward and kiss Tony. It would be so easy, to just swoop in and capture those lips, to run a hand through Tony’s hair and cup the back of his neck and bring him closer. He glances back up, and- 

There’s a light pink settling on Tony’s cheeks. He’s _blushing._ It makes him look all the more endearing. Tony’s tongue darts out and wets his lips. Steve’s sure he’s staring.

Suddenly, he’s nervous - and he doesn’t know why. It’s just… something’s nagging at him. He doesn’t know why. Tony’s eyes meet Steve’s for a second and his face changes, not in a bad way, but it’s different.

“So, tomorrow?” Tony stands up awkwardly, disentangling his hand from Steve’s before walking to the door. “If you’re up for it.”

When Steve tries to speak, the words catch and twist in his mouth. “I- Yes- Of course,” he manages. Tony smiles at him again, one of his real smiles, full and bright, and closes the door behind him.

Steve is so fucked.

\---

True to his word, Steve shows up bright and early. He’s not carrying much, just a couple bags, but he’s here. In the morning light, his hair is golden. It’s gorgeous. 

Tony’s not mad about last night. Just… frustrated? He’d thought Steve would make a move - all the signs were there. Steve had looked at his lips, for gosh’s sake. Tony even tried to encourage Steve. But then he’d backed off for some reason. Whatever. It’s not like Steve likes him. They’re just together because fate decided to be a major pain in the ass.

But what about the “I don’t want to lose you”? Steve’s probably just sick of losing people. He lost everything when he came out of the ice. The thing is, Tony _likes_ Steve. Have you seen the man? He’s gorgeous - tall, blonde, sexy, you know… the whole works. But Steve’s a good person, whereas Tony… is not. 

“Hi, Tony,” the sight of Steve wearing a leather jacket greets him. Damn, he looks good in that. 

“Hey,” Tony almost reaches out to help Steve. Almost. Steve’s got everything covered. Tony watches as Steve’s muscles ripple under the jacket as he hefts one of the bags up and slings it across his shoulder. They walk into the tower together. They reach the elevator and step up into it, ascending to their floor. Sometime during the rise, the silence stretches on just long enough to border on uncomfortable, and Tony finds himself staring at Steve. He’s the literal embodiment of “tall, blonde, sexy” and Tony doesn’t fail to notice that. 

Steve clears his throat, and Tony realizes he’s been caught. His eyes flit away, only to see that Steve is looking back at him, just as uncomfortable as Tony feels.

“So…” Steve begins, but he never finishes because the doors slide open and the sight of Bruce and Clint greet him. “I’m not the first one you invited?” 

“Well.” Tony swallows back his thoughts, “I invited the whole team in no particular order. Bruce practically lived here already so… and Clint literally just hopped in. Nat’s also around somewhere, probably strangling some-”

“I heard my name, Stark,” Nat glares, playfully, but it still scares Tony.

“Jesus, Ms. Rushman!” Tony teases, “I have a heart condition!”

“What?” Steve’s attention, previously focused on the communal floor, turns back to Tony. “Heart… condition?”

Oops. Didn’t mean to reveal that much. “It’s just… the arc reactor… it’s basically keeping the shrapnel from kil- did you even read my file?” 

“Uh…” Steve begins, “not in depth no… go on?”

“The arc reactor basically keeps me alive. There was that brief stint where it was killing me, but it’s all good.”

“What?” Steve looks somewhere between shocked and horrified.

“It’s all good,” Tony reassures him, trying to convey that, hey, he’s okay, but Steve’s worry doesn’t dissipate.

“Except when you hid the fact that you were dying from everyone,” Nat says almost silently but Steve has his super hearing, so Tony’s fucked.

“Is it safe?” Steve’s face morphs into something Tony can’t quite place. Disappointment? Protectiveness? Worry? Steve’s focus is now on the arc reactor, which is hidden beneath his clothing. A soft, blue glow is visible.

“Would I have it if it wasn’t?” Tony tries, but the look Steve gives him is more than an answer. “Relax, big guy, it’s safe.” Steve doesn’t look reassured but drops the subject, sweeping his gaze over the room.

“I’ll uh,” Tony begins awkwardly, “I’ll show you to your floor.”

“Floor?” Steve’s brows knit together in confusion.

“I designed floors for each of the Avengers,” Tony says, not really focusing on the question. He notices Steve’s stunned expression. “What?”

“You’re doing this for free? Just giving us- what?”

“I’m a billionaire, it’s fine,” Tony rolls his eyes and continues on his way. The sound of Steve’s footsteps follow him. So Steve is coming. The two walk down the hallway, the silence returning, as awkward as ever. 

“So, this whole thing, it’s just because we’re soulmates, right?” Tony asks, knowing the answer he’ll get before the words finish coming out of his mouth.

“Huh? Right, just… soulmates,” Steve trails off, looking distracted. Tony’s sure his face falls but he’s good at bullshitting people. There’s a sinking feeling in his stomach and the rest of the so-called “tour” is silent. Tony can feel the tension, but he doesn’t know what to make of it. Subconsciously, as Steve’s unpacking, his fingers run up the smooth door frame, brushing the metal.

“Tony?” Steve asks, and Tony’s fingers skid to a stop as he looks at Steve. “Thank you. Thank you for everything.”

Tony smiles, and Steve returns it with a smile that’s so fucking genuine. He looks almost proud of Tony. Proud and… Tony would say fond, if he didn’t know better.

(He has no idea what he’s done to make Steve so happy).

\---

_Night falls fast_

_Today is in the past._

Does Tony have any idea, the effect he has on Steve? The way he can make Steve smile by rambling on and on about some science thing that Steve can’t understand, but he lets Tony keep talking since his face will light up and, for a moment, he’ll just be Tony Stark - he’ll just be himself. 

But he doesn’t know how to feel. He’s probably _supposed_ to feel some sort of love, or at least get along. But he’s too… afraid, almost. Afraid of Tony not liking him. The man had literally confirmed that they were just trying because they were forced to be soulmates. 

It’s a little scary how much Tony is sort of an… anchor. Everything’s so different, the colors too bright, the noises too harsh, the people so… artificial. But something about Tony helps. Maybe it’s the way that he navigates these waters so easily, or maybe that he’s so far ahead of Steve that Steve just gives in. Either way, _Steve’s_ not here just because they’re soulmates. Part of it’s the team, yes, but part of it is… Tony. 

But Tony has Pepper. Steve’s not dumb, he’s seen the looks and he reads some of those washed-up tabloids sometimes. They’re in love. It’s not rare for two people who don’t have soulmates to be together, to fall in love, to be happy. If that’s what Tony wants, Steve won’t stop him. 

Gently, he takes out the compass he still has - the one with Peggy’s picture still inside it, somehow surviving the harsh cold and wet. It’s a little fitting actually, since Peggy’s so resilient. Steve closes it and sets it on the desk. 

“She’s still alive, you know?” the sound of Tony’s voice scares him slightly. Is everyone a secret ninja at this point? 

“Really?” Part of Steve is exhilarated, the other part is almost… nervous.

“Yeah,” Tony says, but his face is filled with a sort of sadness. “She’s got Alzheimer’s,” he adds, almost as an afterthought. The initial excitement is gone, replaced with dread.

“Were you two close?” Steve tries to change the topic, partly out of curiosity, partly because he doesn’t want to think about Peggy, strong-willed and strong-minded, reduced to forgetfulness and paranoia because of something like old age. It’s not fair.

“She was my Aunt Peggy,” Tony’s gaze is distant, pushing past Steve like he’s not there, “and she’d tell me stories about the war and the Commandos and you. The real you. She was kind to me.” His voice is tight and Steve doesn’t push. “God, what a pair we are,” Tony snorts, out of the blue, “we’re both broken, aren’t we? You, a man out of time, who’s lost everything? And me… well I’m not really broken enough to be broken, am I? Even though I’m stuck here with shrapnel in my chest and a legacy to protect that I never wanted and the entire general public hating me and- I’m rambling. Ignore me. Sorry.”

It takes a moment for the full force of the words to hit Steve. Shrapnel. In Tony’s chest. So that’s what the arc reactor’s for. 

“What do you mean you’re not broken enough?” Steve asks. 

“What? Oh. Well, the public doesn’t give a shit about feelings, I guess, especially not the press, and they don’t understand I’m only human and I’m not a perfect hero like you-”

“I’m not perfect, Tony.” Steve’s voice is quiet but firm. How can Tony think that he’s not a perfect hero? He’s Iron Man, he’s an impressive genius flying around in technology that’s decades ahead of the norm. And how can he think Steve’s perfect? He’s let so many people die for him, and he’s failed god knows how many people. Images of Bucky flash before his eyes again, and he’s back on the train, reaching out futilely to grasp Bucky’s hand, but the metal snaps and the scream echoes in his brain, slamming into his skull. 

“Well, I was told the opposite,” Tony doesn’t look Steve in the eye when he says this. 

Steve frowns. “By Peggy?” She’s not the type of person to idolize him.

“By Howard,” Tony says darkly, and doesn’t elaborate. _Howard._ Oh. He remembers Stark Expo, the one so many years ago, with the flying car. 

“How was he? As a parent, I mean,” Steve amends, “I knew him a bit - not too well, but…”

“I hated you. Both of you, actually, you and Howard.” The bluntness surprises Steve. “Every time I did something, I’d never live up to you, to Captain America. I was always second in his eyes.”

Steve doesn’t know what to say to that.

\---

Fucking Steve and his righteousness, his perfection, his goddamn everything. Tony locks himself in his lab, telling JARVIS to not let anyone in unless it’s a dire emergency and New York’s about to explode again. Tony can’t look at Steve, not after what he’s said to him. At this point, Steve knows more about him than the entirety of SI combined. And then, he’d told the man, to his face, that he used to hate him. At least it was past tense.

Also because he hates talking about his past. Howard was a mediocre parent at best, when he wasn’t drinking. When he was drinking… Tony’s mind instantly tries to avoid these thoughts, but he’s being dragged down the path anyway, and he’s back against the wall, curling up again on himself because he’d done something with Howard’s technology - he was only trying to make it better - and the first blow catches him on the jaw, the second across the cheek, and Maria’s staring in shock, too afraid to do anything other than plead with Howard to stop. He does, abruptly, after two more blows, and then stands up shakily, as if realizing the full extent of what he’s done.

Tony snaps awake in the darkness of the lab. He’s lying on the floor, the coolness bleeding through his shirt. Shit. He hasn’t had one of these nightmares in a while. The lights are dimmer than he usually keeps them, so either JARVIS is being overprotective, or someone’s been down here.

“Bad dreams?” Of course Steve is here. 

“Why do you care and who let you in?” Tony’s sleep-fuzzy brain doesn’t quite register that Steve is standing over him until he sits up and bumps into something warm.

“Your AI, JARVIS or something,” Steve answers a little hesitantly, “let me in. You were talking in your sleep. Something about Howard.”

“It was just a nightmare,” Tony pops up and tries to pick back up where he left off, but he can’t really remember what he’d done before he conked out. He can sense Steve’s following his movements, but he doesn’t turn to meet them. 

“Okay,” he finally relents, “he… he hit me.” There. It’s out. Steve can do what he wants with that information. He sees the blood drain out of Steve’s face, his expression morphing into one of shock and pain.

“He drank,” Steve says, and it’s not a question, just a declaration.

“He drank,” Tony echoes softly.

“Mine did too,” Steve whispers, and moves closer to Tony. He wraps his arms around Tony and it takes a second or two before Tony realizes they’re _hugging_. He’s hugging Captain fucking America. Almost shyly, his own arms snake out around Steve’s middle. Where did that easy hugging thing go? “He’d hit me and my mom before apologizing and saying he didn’t mean it but it just… I couldn’t take it. I tried to stand up to him and it got me a black eye.”

“Gosh, Steve, I’m so sorry,” Tony apologizes, and is surprised to find he actually means it. “Howard… he only hit me when he was drunk and I’d touched one of his machines but I was really only trying to make it better. And then he’d act like nothing happened.”

“Broken pair,” Steve jokes, after a pause, repeating what Tony said from earlier, but there’s a hint of sadness in his voice.

\---

Steve’s heart aches. It sounds sappy and overexaggerated, but it’s a proper term to describe the pain. It’s as if his soul is yearning for something, desperately trying to find it, but unable to get it. But he can’t let it consume him - it’ll only get worse. Every little touch, every small moment, all the time he spends with Tony just causes it to grow. 

Every day, the browns in his vision remind him that this is permanent. It helps ground him, in a way, something to keep him from flying out of this futuristic new world, but it’s so fucking _unfair_ . Some days, he just doesn’t want to deal. The pain, the pain of losing everyone and the pain of unrequited love _hurts_. It sounds childish but it does.

The initial sting of his raw, broken skin pounding against the rough material of the bag fades with each swing, and it’s just a dull throbbing as sweat flies from his hair. Vaguely, Steve realizes that his eyes are wet and his breaths are coming in gasps as he punches.

It’s not the first time that he’s done something along these lines, punched without wrapping his hands or disregarded other safety rules. Maybe it’s some sort of bond, because Tony wanders into the gym, which is slightly strange, considering that he barely leaves the workshop most days. 

Steve knows that whatever soulmate thing they have is fractured and different. They didn’t stare at each other long enough to see the colors bloom, they didn’t even like each other at first. Being soulmates doesn’t fix that. They’ve started caring for each other more, sort of. Steve will make sure that Tony’s not overworking himself, and Tony will provide comfort during the bad days. They’ll sit through each other’s nightmares and panic attacks and whatever bitter rants they have about life. Today’s not really different.

Tony’s facial expression tightens and Steve almost tells him to go away, but his heart aches and he yearns for Tony, so he slumps and closes his eyes for a moment. When he opens them again, Tony’s right in front of him, his brown eyes filled with worry and sadness. Gently, he closes his fingers around Steve’s wrist and brings it to him, wrapping the wounds in white cloth. They both know that Steve doesn’t need it, but Tony had insisted the first time, and they had ended up doing it more and more. When he’s done with the second hand, he hesitates slightly before bringing Steve’s hand to his lips and pressing light kisses to his knuckles.

The move surprises Steve. They’re not really affectionate, at least not as much as soulmates should be. Hell, they’re barely even as affectionate as friends should be. Tony looks at Steve expectantly, waiting for an explanation.

“Thank you,” Steve says, rather than give a direct answer. He pauses, a couple beats of silence lapsing before he tries to speak again. “Sometimes, it’s too much. I don’t know what to do, Tony. I missed so much. There’s days where I wish I never came out of the ice.”

“Don’t say that,” Tony’s voice is laced with sorrow. “You’re here for a reason, that’s for sure. It’s okay to be lost. We’ve all been there. You have a team, a family to help. And I’m definitely glad that they pulled you out of the ice. Maybe it’s selfish.”

“Tony… I-” Steve hesitates, realizing what a precarious position he’s put himself in, “I- you… you mean a lot to me. I would be lost without you. You’re one of the only people who doesn’t expect me to adapt super fast and you take the time to explain a lot of things.”

Well. Not exactly what he’d wanted to say, but definitely true.

“I don’t think it’s possible to miss seventy years and adapt in a nutshell.” Tony’s hand gives his a reassuring squeeze, and Steve realizes that they’ve been holding hands this whole time. “And I like to explain things. You know that. Just- we’re here for you, Steve. I’m here for you.”

True to his word, Tony seems to always be around when Steve needs him. It’s comforting. There’s a lot of times, though they’re growing less frequent, when he just doesn’t know something, and Tony will talk him through it, sometimes with visuals. He loves the time he spends with Tony, but it also makes his soul ache more. He wants to be able to hold Tony in his arms, to love him without consequence.

He gets his first wish. Sort of. It’s a bad night - Tony’s movements are harsh and his face is drawn even before he goes to tinker. He falls asleep at his workstation before Steve goes to check on him after another unsuccessful attempt at drawing his emotions.

Steve wanders into the workshop, spotting Tony immediately. He’s sprawled on the floor - again - and Steve gently rolls him over, seeing if maybe he’s still awake (he’s not). Scooping up Tony in both arms, Steve sets off for the couch, and he sets him down before wrapping a blanket around him. It’s blue, like the shirt that Tony’s currently wearing. He sits next to Tony on the couch, waiting to see if anything will happen. It’s then when he realizes just how tired he is - he can barely keep his eyes open. The darkness of the lab and the softness of the couch is really tempting, and before he falls asleep, part of Steve thinks that it’s a bad idea, but the other part has taken over and the last thing he remembers is wrapping his arm around Tony and tugging him in.

\---

Tony jolts awake, still half-in the clutches of the nightmare, only to feel the warmth of someone against him. It’s been a while since he’s slept with someone, in both ways. He and Pepper had had a thing for a while, but none of them had been extremely serious, especially after Pepper found her soulmate. He allows himself to think it’s nice. He’s allowed to do that, right? It’s not going to break him. Most people think cuddling is nice. 

He snuggles into Steve, hugging him back and pulling the sleeping man closer. He’s dreaming, something probably not pleasant by the way his face changes. Something inside Tony surfaces, and he runs a hand through Steve’s hair, massaging his scalp, trying to ease the tension. 

Tony doesn’t plan on going back to sleep. Instead, he traces Steve’s sleeping figure with his eyes, reveling in the moment. Steve looks adorable when he sleeps, the entire Captain role disappearing entirely. He looks relaxed and peaceful. The only drawback is that his blue eyes aren’t visible. Shame. With as little jostling as possible, Tony slips out of Steve’s warm embrace and heads back to whatever he was working on. The clock says 4:26 in the morning, but Tony doesn’t care. (Ever since when did he care about time? The correct answer is never.) He pulls out his tablet and begins to fiddle with the designs again. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he watches Steve sleep, his chest rising and falling in sync with his breaths. His hair looks so soft, silky and golden, and Tony’s fingers itch to run through it again. But what about Steve’s reaction… 

The part of him that’s not super groggy from sleep-deprivation is going overtime in trying to interpret Steve’s actions. The man had fallen asleep with his arm around Tony - what’s a guy supposed to think? But it was most likely an accident. Steve’s from the forties, for gosh’s sake. He’s Captain America, Steve “straight as a pole” Rogers.

But his mind begins to wonder about the possibilities. What if Steve had done it on purpose? Fallen asleep with his arm around Tony because he liked him? Maybe he’s just touch starved. Lonely. Maybe he just wants comfort. Tony sighs and looks back down at the tablet, fingers tapping the screen, making small modifications to improve the product.

He’s startled slightly when Steve wakes, calling out his name softly, almost afraid. 

“Yeah?” Tony replies, footfalls padding softly against the ground as he makes his way back to the couch. Steve’s expression changes, slightly embarrassed, Tony thinks. 

“Ah.” Red begins to bloom on his cheeks and he doesn’t quite meet Tony’s gaze. “Sorry if I woke you or made you uncomfortable or something.”

“It’s fine,” Tony says immediately, “I think you- I think we both needed it. Besides, you’re cute when you sleep, Cap.”

Wait. Fuck. Tony’s brain processes what he just said and he mentally curses himself for not having a filter at this ungodly hour. Steve’s cheeks turn redder as he looks back up at Tony, the edges of his mouth curling upwards slightly. 

“Did you just call me cute?” he teases, and Tony’s brain goes overboard into finding an excuse that doesn’t scream “I’m in love with you”. Heat rises into his cheeks and he’s sure he’s blushing now, whoops.

“I- Well- Uh-” he stutters, and Steve’s smile grows - the bastard’s enjoying this, “Goddammit Cap, you know just how good you look!” 

Tony wants to slap himself. Did he just call Captain America _hot_? (Well, he’s not wrong, but that’s not comforting at all.) It might be a figment of his imagination, but Steve’s face seems to fall slightly.

“What are you working on?” Steve says, and Tony’s glad that the subject’s changed. He really needs to work on detaching himself from Steve before he’s pulled too far in. 

“Nothing much, just upgrades to Nat’s bites and - don’t tell Clint - his bow,” Tony glances up at one of the vents, praying that Clint isn’t listening. The little shit won’t let him go if he finds out that Tony’s actually being helpful. Steve stares at the tablet for a second before lying back down on the couch. 

“What time is it?” he asks, staring at the ceiling.

“It is four fourty-three in the morning,” JARVIS replies, with a hint of… is that satisfaction? Are his own bots working against him behind his back?

“Tony!” Steve exclaims, practically jumping off the couch and dragging Tony towards the couch. “You need more sleep,” he says, in his commanding voice, the one that screams no-nonsense. His gaze is a bit too much for Tony to hold, but he’s not sure that he would even be able to hold Steve’s gaze without giving away his feelings.

“C’mon Steve! I’ve slept for… how many hours, J?” Tony knows the number won’t be impressively high, but he’ll figure out a way to spin it into his favor.

“He has only had around three hours of sleep in the past three days,” JARVIS’s voice could only be described as gleeful. Steve glares at Tony, his fingers tightening around Tony’s wrist.

“What?” Tony glares back, “and how much sleep have you had, Cap?” 

“Captain Rogers has had five hours of sleep in the past two days,” JARVIS says, this time without emotion. “Which is more than you,” he adds snarkily.

“Go to sleep, Tony,” Steve’s voice is soft and comforting somehow. “I’ll be here if you need it.” 

Before Tony can protest, Steve’s dragged him onto the couch and tucked him into the blanket that Tony keeps there. A part of him enjoys this, being taken care of by Steve, and he smiles almost shyly, which is a new thing for him. Before Steve can let go of Tony’s wrist entirely, Tony grasps his hand and clutches it tight. 

“Stay?” He can’t quite keep the tone of pleading out of his voice. 

But Steve only nods.

\---

Steve’s brain whirls from the night in the lab, the night when - oh God - he and Tony practically slept together, in a non-sexual way, when Tony had called him _cute_ and _hot_ , when Tony had asked him to stay, and how could Steve refuse? So he’d simply traced patterns onto Tony’s finger until he’d fallen asleep. Steve had stayed, stayed until he was sure Tony was out cold and then fled, his mind spinning with possibilities and then reasons to not believe in those possibilities. He regrets leaving slightly, but he just… can’t.

This thing, these feelings, they’ve got to go. They’re only distracting, and clearly Tony doesn’t feel the same way.

So Steve does what he usually does when he has problems. He talks to Natasha. (Partially because she sees right through him and isn’t afraid of challenging him.)

When he walks into her room (after knocking - you wouldn’t have your balls attached if you’d walked in without knocking), she smirks, her eyes playful but clearly expressing that she knows exactly why he’s here. Her face doesn’t change as Steve begins to talk about Tony, trying to avoid rambling on and on about everything he likes about him, but Nat’s face says he does anyway. Gosh, is he really this obvious?

And if he’s really this obvious, why hasn’t Tony said something yet? Unless… 

“It’s because he’s just as oblivious as you,” Nat rolls her eyes. Oops. Steve hadn’t meant to say that out loud. 

“What?” he manages to say after trying to process what Natasha just said. Tony Stark is a lot of things, but oblivious is not one of them. 

“You’re proving my point,” she gestures. “Steve, I need you to answer this question honestly. Do you like Tony?”

This puzzles Steve. “Of course I like him. He’s a great teammate, and he’s a genius, and-”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Of course Nat can see right through him. 

“I- yes.” Steve answers, rather awkwardly. “And it’s not just because we’re soulmates. I mean, that’s obviously why he tries to like me, but for me it’s more.”

“You’re hopeless, Rogers,” Nat laughs, “Just pay attention. He is every bit as in love with you as you are with him.”

The sentence hits Steve like a mack truck. Tony… likes him? Well, of course he does, why else would the man let him in his lab and spend time with him? But if Tony _likes_ Steve? Oh dear lord, have mercy. 

“Why aren’t me and Tony like other soulmates?” Steve blurts, hoping Natasha will have an answer, like she usually does.

“You mean like the love at first sight thing? I think it’s because of the way you two met,” she adds when he nods, “You guys sort of hated each other, and the whole thing with the mind stone probably screwed with the feelings as well. And considering you and Tony maybe looked at each other for half a second when you two met, your relationship is going to be different. Not bad, but different. Part of it was probably not knowing - that not knowing you are soulmates part outweighed the fact that you were soulmates, so you’re just going to have to develop like a non-soulmate relationship, probably.”

Steve blinks and lets the information sink in. “Does Tony know?” he manages finally.

Natasha raises an eyebrow at Steve, eyes searching for something. She must not find it, because she sighs and says, “I think he’s already a step ahead of you.”

Well. 

\---

Tony wakes up gently, opening his eyes after a dreamless sleep. Gosh, he can’t remember the last time he slept so well. The first thing he registers is the blanket draped over him - it smells… familiar. He can’t quite figure it out. The second thing he registers is that he’s alone in the lab. Part of him’s glad that Steve left - they can’t keep doing this - but part of him’s secretly disappointed. Maybe Steve got some sleep though. That would be a plus.

“J, time?” he asks, making his way over to the door. He wants coffee. And maybe a shower. 

“It’s around two in the afternoon,” a voice, a feminine voice - definitely not JARVIS - answers. Natasha. Tony blinks for a second. Shit, how long did he sleep for? And the team just… let him sleep? 

His mind searches for something to say, ranging from “what the fuck” to “thank you”. He settles on, “Is Steve asleep?”

Nat gives him a weird look. “No.”

“Did he sleep?” Tony tries. Another no. Tony sighs. “I’m going to get some coffee and make sure the idiot sleeps.” Nat smirks, raising an eyebrow. “What?”

“Since when did you care?” she teases.

“Since we became soulmates,” Tony responds matter-of-factly. Her face changes, a small, miniscule change, but anyone who knows her well enough can see it.

“Is that why you like him?” she asks, looking thoughtful all of a sudden. 

“What? I-” Tony hesitates. But this is Nat. If he won’t tell her, she’ll probably find some other way to get it out of him. Besides, Natasha is trustworthy. She gestures for him to go on. Tony swallows and continues. “I- no. I mean, the soulmate part helps, because maybe my feelings might have some… some meaning. But he doesn’t feel that way. He’s here because we’re soulmates.”

Natasha sighs, this one clearly exaggerated. It’s long and drawn out, but part of Tony thinks it’s serious, from the expression on her face. “And I thought Steve was oblivious,” she mutters, leaving Tony to wonder what the hell she meant.

\---

Tony walks into the kitchen, hair messy and sticking out in places. He looks… cute. Steve shakes the thought off before it can latch onto his mind any farther and hands Tony the cup of coffee he has just poured. (No, Steve did not wait by the pot for Tony. Where did you get that idea?) Tony looks at him in surprise but takes the mug, cradling it before pouring in milk and adding sugar. Steve watches him as he opens the jar, taking the spoon and dumping a generous amount into his coffee. Tony catches him, and Steve smiles, but he doesn’t get one in return. Tony’s face has become closed off. 

Shit. What did Steve do?

He watches Tony walk out, staring at the door long after Tony’s gone from sight. Did Tony have another nightmare? Is that why he’s mad? Was Steve not there for him? The thought makes Steve’s stomach clench with guilt. So he makes his way to the workshop, to apologize, he tells himself.

To his surprise, Tony doesn’t acknowledge him when he walks in. Steve stands around awkwardly, waiting, but neither one of them says anything. As a last-ditch attempt, Steve clears his throat. Tony does look at him, and Steve can’t quite read the emotions in his eyes. Is that annoyance? Confusion? Surprise?

“Tony,” he gets out, before pausing. What does he really have to say? “Are you okay?”

Tony smiles, but it looks more like a wince to Steve. “I’m just peachy, Cap.” Steve doesn’t know why, but this rubs him the wrong way, and the words shoot out of his mouth.

“Can you not call me Cap? I’m just Steve.”

Tony stares at him in surprise before he seems to get himself together and respond. “Sure, Steve.”

“Anyway,” Steve shifts, a bit embarrassed, “are you okay? Wait, scratch that,” he adds before Tony can answer, “you’re not okay. What’s wrong?”

Tony sighs and shakes his head. “Can’t tell you.”

“Are you sure?” Steve asks. Tony’s reluctance only makes him want to know more. 

“I- Ca- Steve…” his tone has changed, dangerously. And then it just sounds like he’s been hurting. “How do you deal with unrequited love?” 

The question startles Steve. Unrequited love? Steve’s never really been in love - except this time. He’s liked people once or twice, but love? He’s been saving that for his soulmate. Steve’s jealous. Whoever Tony’s loving, if they can’t love him back, they’re not worth Tony’s time. 

“I don’t know, Tony,” he says finally. “I don’t know.”

\---

Tony wants Steve, wants him with all his heart. But he knows Steve doesn’t want him back. He’s figured that the universe just wants to fuck with them at this point. Introduce two soulmates in the weirdest way possible so they don’t know they’re soulmates, have them be mind-fucked into hating each other, and then maybe one of them falls in love but the other one doesn’t. 

So he does what he does best in situations like these: he locks himself in his lab and, well, he wouldn’t call it hiding, but yeah, he’s hiding.

Steve had left earlier, after standing around for a while just staring at Tony. Tony himself had felt kind of bad for making him wait for nothing. Tony reminds himself that he can’t do this - he can’t get close to Steve, not without hurt involved.

The couple times he slept peacefully, those dreamless nights with Steve - they’re gone - replaced with the standard nightmares. Some days, it’s Howard, but most of the time, it’s him in space in that goddamn wormhole or the death of the team. The worst part is, Tony’s always alive, no matter who’s body he’s holding. 

He starts avoiding those too, not sleeping for days on end before finally crashing, too exhausted to dream. He gets a lot of random things done - Nat gets her updated bites, but the updated bow stays with Tony for leverage. 

Tony really only has one big, pressing project that he doesn’t want to do. He’s been redesigning Steve’s suit for a while, trying to make it better, trying to make it more flexible, stronger, more protective, more adaptive, the whole works. Tony’s even thinking about adding magnetic strips so the shield can come back whenever Steve needs it to.

He runs a hand through his hair tiredly before opening the schematic. He thinks of all the scenarios and adds precautions. Bulletproof? Check. There’s no way he’s letting Steve dive into the middle of some gunfight without adequate protection. He’s seen the guy’s reckless tendencies. Flexible? The material he used is designed to bend and bend and bend and bend without snapping. Versatile? Oh, hell yes. Tony’s added some pretty over-the-top stuff for any different situation. The best part is that it still looks like the classic Captain America suit, just a little more… polished. He’s even toyed with adding weapons to the suit, but then decided that Steve probably wouldn't go for that. Tony’s also been messing with a couple different paint jobs for the shield - nothing different, just so the paint’s more durable and it won’t scratch so easily. The vibranium itself is fine. Time to play around.

Time seems to fly, hours passing until Tony’s spent the better part of a day in the lab. He’s so focused on his work that when JARVIS alerts him to Steve standing outside the lab, he physically jumps. He turns to the glass and, sure enough, Steve is right there, watching him, a poorly concealed smile on his face. Before he can stop himself, Tony opens the door, letting Steve in.

“Hey, Steve,” he reaches out and instinctively pats Steve on the shoulder. Tony’s used to touching people excessively. It’s a habit. Just ask Rhodey or Bruce. Steve looks flustered for a moment before his gaze shifts to the diagram Tony has open.

“Is that…” his face is one of surprise, “is that my suit?”

“Uh, yeah,” Tony feels weird admitting it all of a sudden, “just… upgrades, you know?”

Steve walks over and examines it. Tony watches him as he does it, searching for things that might give away what Steve’s feeling… not that Tony would know, but he could tell Nat. 

“Wow,” Steve breathes, after a pause, “this is amazing, Tony.” The praise hits Tony hard, causing him to feel slightly sheepish. 

“You know me. Always inventing stuff to make up for a lack of a heart,” he jokes, and Steve’s expression changes from awed and amazed to angry in a second.

“Don’t say that,” he reprimands, his voice vehement, staring at Tony directly in the eyes. His eyes are beautiful - crystal blue framed by golden lashes. Tony must be staring for a little too long (again) because Steve’s gaze flickers and he shuffles awkwardly before returning his attention back to the schematic.

“What are these?” he points to the magnetic strips that Tony had put on the sleeves.

“Magnets. So your shield will come back to you whenever and wherever,” Tony answers, flashing a smile at Steve, who nods slowly and thoughtfully. 

“Why are you doing this?” he asks softly, so softly that Tony thinks that he shouldn’t have heard it. It doesn’t _seem_ like something Steve would ask him to his face, but then again, it sort of does.

“Asshole inventor, remember?” The joke slides off Tony’s tongue smoothly and easily, like it’s true. 

Steve frowns. “That’s not true. You’re not an asshole.”

“Ooh! Did Captain America just swear?” Tony tries to ignore what Steve said, but it’s too late. The words, in Steve’s voice, make their way into his mind. Warmth flares in his stomach for some reason, and part of him interprets this as, “Steve Rogers likes you,” which he quickly pushes away. No need for hopeless fantasies. He’s just being kind.

“Tony,” Steve’s voice is serious now, “You’re not a bad person. In fact,” his tone turns teasing, “I’d say you care about me.”

“I-” Tony stammers, feeling the heat rise, “Of course I care about you! I care about all of you!” Steve looks at him for a moment before turning away, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

“But why me?” Steve whispers, and even Tony can hear the hint of hopefulness in his voice. 

_Do I tell him? About everything?_

“You’re my soulmate,” Tony says, trying both to tell Steve how he feels with those words, but also trying to disguise every emotion he’s feeling right now - including love for Steve. “I care about you.” Oops. That might have been a little extra. Oh well. It’s not… a love confession, right? “I don’t like seeing you hurt. I don’t know, it just… it just doesn’t sit well with me.” 

Shit. _That_ was the love confession.

“I care about you, Steve,” Tony whispers. He doesn’t miss the glimmer of hope that sparkles in Steve’s eyes. But hope for what?

\---

Steve buries his head in his pillow and groans. Tony had been designing and making a new suit. For him. Steve desperately wants to believe it’s not just because Tony cares about the team, but he cares about Steve in particular, care and another feeling. He’s being pulled over the edge, an inch at a time, but one day, he’ll fall completely, and then the love will consume him. He can’t let that happen. But… it feels… good. The love. 

What if they’re in love? Both of them? Steve closes his eyes and loses himself in the thought. 

A knock on the door jolts him out of his little daydream, and he opens it to find… Natasha. He feels bad for feeling slightly disappointed that it’s Natasha and not Tony, but “true love conquers all”. Right?

“Have you pulled your head out of your ass yet?” she asks, somehow managing to sound sincere and teasing at the same time. 

“What?” Steve asks dumbly.

“Tony.” Ah. The elephant in the room. Steve feels like if he says any more about Tony to Natasha, he’ll be giving her a full-blown love confession to Tony, cheesy poems and all.

“I’ll take that as a no,” she sighs melodramatically. “If you really want him, you might have to make the first move. Might? Sorry. Will.” When Steve doesn’t respond, she adds, “Tony probably doesn’t think you like him, which is ridiculous, since your crushes are visible from outer space.”

Tony thinks that Steve doesn’t… like him? What? Maybe that’s why the coffee thing happened. Tony didn’t want Steve to like him so he’d decided to push him away… hm. But… but how did Tony not know that Steve liked him? Steve had tried to make his emotions as obvious as possible. He looks back at Natasha, who has an eyebrow raised while wearing a half-smirk, as if she can tell what Steve is thinking. 

“What about Pepper?” the question flies out of his mouth before he has time to consider if he really wants to know. Nat actually laughs at this.

“He and Pepper aren’t together, Steve. It’s just for the press. They _were_ together, but they both eventually parted ways, ever since Pepper found her soulmate.”

“So…” the possibilities flood Steve’s mind, filling him with a new kind of hope, almost.

“So, you definitely have a chance?” Natasha shrugs casually. “And you should take it.”

“Why are you telling me this?” he asks, genuinely curious, but also wanting to know if Tony put her up to his.

“Honestly? You guys need to get laid. Like, at this point I could cut the sexual tension between you guys with scissors. I’m not even sure who’s more oblivious at this point, you or Tony. Any person with common sense can see that you guys _care_ for each other and-”

A high-pitched noise cuts through her sentence and blares on and on and on. It takes Steve a minute to remember that they installed the alarm for serious problems. It also alerts SHIELD, so Fury’s probably going to be on them in a minute.

Natasha’s face shifts from light and joking to dark and serious in a second, pulling on her no-nonsense mask.

“Suit up,” Steve commands, switching into his role as Captain America, and she only nods before dashing out of his room. Steve instinctively reaches for the shield, fingers closing around the metal edge before he jams it onto his arm and races down the hall to the elevator to the lab. Time to see if Tony’s done with the suit.

\---

The alarm startles Tony out of his inventing binge, and he bumps his arm into something, sending scrap metal and tools clattering to the ground. 

“Tony,” Steve seems to have appeared out of nowhere and Tony startles slightly. 

“Captain,” Tony addresses, running over to where the suit is, “I’m assuming you came for this?”

“As a matter of fact,” Steve slides his arm out of the shield’s straps, “yes.” 

Tony’s grabbing the suit and helmet that he painstakingly managed to design and put together in record time and shoving it towards Steve before he even finishes the sentence. Steve takes it almost reverently, staring at them, even though it doesn’t look that different from the ones he’s been seen wearing.

“Thank you,” Steve whispers while tucking the helmet under his arm.

“I- Uh, be careful- stay safe,” the words catch in Tony’s throat and he wants to punch himself. _Get it together, Stark. You guys are on a mission. A mission._ The moment Steve’s gone, he’s summoning the suit, red and gold metal assembling around his body. The faceplate snaps shut and the familiar display of the HUD glows into view. 

“Alright, JARVIS, what seems to be the deal?" he asks while making his way down to where the quinjet is parked.

“It appears that there’s been a disturbance near the tower and is now heading closer.”

“Well, let’s show ‘em what we got.” 

The six Avengers pile into the quinjet, Black Widow and Hawkeye manning the helm as they zoom downwards, circling the tower, monitoring the area for any disturbances. A burst of gold shoots into the sky and does a lopsided sort of loop before diving back downwards. Tony sees the flame behind it sputter once or twice. 

Before long, they’re whizzing out of the jet, into the night. Tony catches a sight of the projectile thing almost immediately and flies after it. Whoever’s manning the thing is good at maneuvering - there’s twists and loops and all sorts of fancy evasive tactics being put to use as Tony blasts after it. They’re soaring in the night sky when Tony catches a glimpse of what the thing really is. It’s some sort of armor, similar to Tony’s, but it appears to run less smoothly. Already, it’s burning through the exhaust. Tony realizes that all he really has to do is keep the person in the air for a while and it will eventually just run out of juice. But a part of him wants to know who’s behind this, to see who got the technology to even get this far.

In that brief moment of hesitation, out of the corner of his eye, he sees the other armor raise it’s hand and fire something. The shot almost seems to be moving in slow motion as it draws closer, but Tony can’t move fast enough. The beam catches him solidly on the chest. Normally, there wouldn’t be any serious damage. But then the HUD display flickers, once, twice, before just disappearing, and Tony’s falling, plummeting downwards out of the night sky.

“JARVIS!” he hates the panic in his voice, “what’s going on?” 

There’s no response. Tony wants to scream in frustration. The person must have used some sort of shutdown or override device. Well. Time for Tony to put some more skills to the test. 

The whole fall is probably only a couple of seconds, but it feels like an eternity to Tony as he finds the device, which is plastered onto his chest, and rips it off, waiting for something to happen. 

Steve’s shouting filters weakly through the comms. Tony’s brain goes into overdrive, calculating just how long he has before he hits the ground (not long) and how long it’ll take the systems to get back online at this rate (too long). But he doesn’t really have another choice, so he extends his arms and legs to try to slow the fall. He’s nearing the ground when his thrusters stutter to life, not back to full capacity yet. Tony activates them, desperately hoping he won’t become a grease spot on the pavement, but they really just slow his fall. He can practically feel it strengthening, but the ground draws nearer and nearer. Vaguely, he hears screaming through the comms. Then his flying systems are back up, and he blasts upwards, hovering some ten to twenty feet above the ground, his heart thumping at how close he was. 

Then the flames sputter once more and he crumples to the pavement below.

\---

Steve sees Tony fall - it’ll be a bad one, but it’s better than falling out of the sky to your imminent death. A strangled sob escapes his lips as he runs madly for Tony, ignoring the battle around them. The armor is motionless. 

Gently, with shaking fingers, Steve tries to remove the helmet. It doesn’t come off easily, but after a fair amount of tugging from a supersoldier, it does. Tony’s eyes are closed, a stream of blood trickling out of his nose. Steve immediately checks for a pulse and for breathing - both are there. 

Praying that no one’s watching, he pulls Tony tight to his chest and sobs into the metal shoulder. Whether it’s relief or sadness, he can’t tell himself. 

It’s then that Tony jolts awake, with Steve still wrapped around him. He thrashes for a second, enough to make Steve let go, only to see Tony wince.

“I’m benching you for the rest of this mission, Iron Man,” he says calmly. He sees Tony’s mouth begin to move, to protest, but Steve just stares at him, and whatever Tony wanted to say seems to have died in his mouth and he just nods lamely, mouth half-open. “Avengers, Iron Man is down, I’m calling medevac.”

“Roger that,” Hawkeye responds, before adding, “we have the projectile thing. It’s…” he hesitates, and Black Widow speaks up, voice tentative.

“It’s a suit, Cap. Like Tony’s. Not as good, but… he… he fell out of the sky after Tony, except his suit didn’t… well, let’s just say he didn’t make it.”

Part of Steve finds a grim satisfaction that this person who hurt Tony is dead, and a part of him immediately feels ashamed for thinking that. As the two of them speak, he’s carrying Tony back to the quinjet, the voices of the medical team echoing around in his head as he gently drops Tony onto the stretcher. 

Falls are tricky. Land the wrong way and you could get seriously injured. Steve doesn’t know from how high Tony had really fallen. If you don’t count the brief pause between, he’d fallen from too high. Either way, it’s still at least ten to twenty feet, plus he’d hit his head.

“Return the to quinjet,” he keeps his voice professional, “Fury will probably want to know.” The moment the words leave his mouth, Clint and Natasha pop into the quinjet. Natasha has a scratched and battered and partially crushed piece of metal in her hand. The faceplate of the other person’s armor. A surge of rage bubbles up in Steve and he focuses on Tony. But, every time Tony winces, a wave of pain washes over Steve. The jet goes airborne, and he hears Fury asking what happened, and then Natasha’s rushed explanation. Her gaze is to the sky itself, as if waiting for another attack. Steve watches with her, but nothing comes up, and he eventually sneaks another glance at Tony, as if he hadn’t been doing that constantly already. 

The ride is over before he knows it, and they’re dragging an unconscious Tony out of the plane. They’ve done a lot, apparently, but it hasn’t really stuck in Steve’s head. Broken ribs, some light head trauma, an arm fracture that they’ve set, and probably more along with that, but all he can see is Tony, who is injured. He should be up and running again soon, thanks to the suit, which had protected Tony partially from the fall, but Steve’s definitely not going to let him risk it.

The debrief is relatively short. Fury gets the answers he wants almost instantly, but he sighs after. “Bad publicity,” Steve hears him mutter. He has to agree - someone trying to replicate Iron Man technology, and succeeding (well, almost - no one can replace Tony’s brains and ingenuity) has got to be a PR mess. 

Fury stops him on the way out, looking slightly livid. “Rogers. You and Stark are soulmates! So act like it! If he’s about to do something that’s going to get him killed, stop him!”

“He won’t listen,” the words just shoot out of Steve’s mouth. “Sorry, sir, but you know he won't.”

This elicits an even louder sigh from the Director. “You guys are soulmates for god’s sake! Did you hear me? _Act like it!_ Talk things out.” He pauses for a moment, as if trying to figure out exactly how much information he wants to divulge to Steve. “He will listen.”

“Alright, sir,” Steve replies, too tired to really care at this point. The full exhaustion of the mission wears down on him - the serum can handle a lot, but Steve Rogers is just a fucking human. And humans have limitations, no matter how much they may deny that. 

He finds himself wandering down to the medical center after he’s been dismissed, his legs taking him there like they’re on autopilot. He spots Tony almost immediately, and of course he’s yelling at the doctors, insisting that he has to leave.

“You’re going to stay right where you are and let the doctors patch you up,” he orders firmly the moment he crosses through the doorway and into the room.

“Hey, Cap!” Tony seems to ignore what he says, “No, I’m fine! I’ll heal! I have things to do!”

“Tony,” Steve warns. Does Tony Stark not realize that he needs to be able to heal? That he’s just human? Surprisingly, it’s his objection that causes Tony to comply, sinking back into the pillow, along with a rather obvious eye roll. “Thank you.”

He sits down on a chair next to Tony, just content watching him. He feels Tony’s questioning gaze on him, but he doesn’t look him in the eye, just traces Tony’s facial features with his eyes. “Fury told me to talk to you,” he says at last.

Tony’s brows knit together as he frowns in confusion. “About what?”

“The whole… soulmates thing? Which we haven’t done in a while, honestly.”

“What is there to talk about?” Tony asks, but his tone is anything but protesting, more… curious.

“Can you just… hear me out,” Steve blurts before he can lose his nerve. Tony nods, and he continues, “I know we’re soulmates. And that we like each other at the very least. But… but I’d like… more. If you want to. Just because we’re soulmates doesn’t mean that I have any right to force you into something like that. We could be platonic soulmates. I don’t know. Nat told me that you don’t think I like you. Well, you have no idea how wrong you are.”

“Is this a love confession?” Tony asks, but the question is soft and curious, not harsh and cutting like Steve had expected.

“I- well,” the heat rises in Steve’s cheeks - again, he swears that Tony will be the death of him in this department - and he swallows. Like that night before, Tony’s now close to him, so close. “Maybe.” There’s a pause.

“Can I say something?” Tony asks, and when Steve nods, he continues. “If this is a love confession, the answer is yes. Yes to soulmates, yes to love, yes to whatever.”

“Before we go down that road,” Steve can’t believe that he’s the one interrupting, “Fury would like to remind you that you are not to do anything stupid that will get yourself killed. He may have also told me to control you, and while he did not say in which way, I may consider them all.”

Tony laughs, bright and clear, and the sound goes right to Steve’s heart, filling him with warmth. 

“So… soulmates?”

“Absolutely.”

They don’t do anything drastic, just sit and bask in each other’s presence, revelling in the fact that they are soulmates, they love each other like soulmates, no strings attached. Steve reaches his hand out shyly and laces it with Tony’s, and he gets a smile in return. 

_“God, what a pair we are.”_

_“Broken pair.”_

The thoughts flit through Steve as he loses himself in Tony’s eyes, the warm golden-browns blending with the deep, rich earthy and woody ones. The same browns that had welcomed him into this new uncertain future. A warm, fluttery feeling sweeps through his stomach as Tony looks back at him. 

Maybe they are a broken pair. But maybe they’ve also stitched themselves together, becoming whole again in the process.

**Author's Note:**

> Alright... if anyone's really confused over why they didn't just bond immediately:  
> \- The first time they looked at each other, they really only glanced at each other, so the colors didn't bleed in until later.  
> \- The first time they really interacted was when they were being influenced by the mind stone, which warped their opinions. They later tried to be soulmates because they thought it might be easier for the two of them.
> 
> I kinda want to write a sequel, so that might be coming soon... enough. 
> 
> You can come yell at me on [tumblr](https://maythecat12.tumblr.com/).


End file.
